One reason for this attraction is that there is a match. The addict does not take responsibility for his life, and the codependent feels responsible to take care of people who are not taking responsibility for themselves. So the addict and the codependent will be drawn to people who fill their needs. And it works … for awhile … until … the codependent finally asks the question, “What is it about me that always draws me into this kind of relationship?” Then she learns what codependency is and begins to work on it. Once she gets further down that path and changes those patterns, her whole world begins to look different. It is no longer filled with addicts, but with loving and responsible people. Tune in to this conversation, and scroll down for more.
There is fuel that keeps codependency going. What drives you to be a people pleaser? We want to be loved, we want to be happy, but we have to develop the wisdom that will help us say no.
It is impossible to keep everyone happy with you. It’s impossible to please everyone. The trick is to ask, who do I want to please and who do I want to displease? Addicts want things that are incompatible with life.
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