Life Isn’t Less Messy Because the Holidays are Here

Uncategorized Nov 02, 2019

The holidays can be a tough time for people that are feeling down. If you're not feeling holiday cheer, many people think you're a grinch.

But not everyone wants to “deck the halls” and sing “fa-la-la-la-la.”


Some people get the holiday blues every year, whether because of some bad memories or past experiences that they haven't dealt with, or simply because of the stress. Others have experienced misfortune recently: a bad breakup or the loss of a job. Likewise, people dealing with serious depression don't get a break from their demons just because Santa is coming to town.

It's important to remember that life doesn't stop happening to people just because there are Christmas lights out. Life can be messy and real, and we have to make room in our hearts to understand that some people are dealing with a lot this season.

One of the worst things we can do to people is to tell them how they should feel. That's a one-way communication and it invalidates that person's experience of reality.

"Don't feel down, it's Christmas!"

To a person who's hurting, Christmas can seem like such an arbitrary 'thing'. Or, worse, it can serve as a painful reminder that things aren't going your way. An oppressive force.

If you have someone in your life that is dealing with emotional pain or psychological issues, try to be extra understanding of what they're going through this holiday season. This is a time of year about giving. Give those people the respect and freedom to feel the way they authentically feel.

Need a safe place to relate to others about this topic? Join one of Dr. Henry Cloud's Boundaries Peer Groups. 

Boundaries in Marriage
Boundaries with Codependency
Boundaries in Dating
Boundaries with Parents
Boundaries with Adult Children
Boundaries After Divorce
Boundaries with Narcissists
Boundaries with Kids and Teens
Boundaries in Church

Get Daily Coaching with Dr. Henry Cloud


50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.