Have a relationship with your parents and in-laws, but not as your primary source of life.

The relationships we have with our families is important, but when you leave and cleave, you’re making decisions outside of those relationships. Their job as a parent is over because you're an adult, or your married unit is now a new family.


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  • The family unit was created to be an incubator in which we grow the maturity, tools, and abilities we need. Once the incubator has done its job, it’s supposed to encourage the young adult to leave the nest, connect to the outside world, and establish a spiritual and emotional family system on one’s own.
  • No one can become a true adult without setting some limits, leaving home, and cleaving somewhere else. Otherwise, we never know if we have forged our own values, beliefs, and convictions — our very identity — or if we are mimicking the ideas of our family.
  • Can family be friends? Absolutely. But if you have never questioned, set boundaries, or experienced conflict with your family members, you may not have an adult-to-adult connection with your family. 

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