Marriages break down when someone brings immaturity to the marriage.

In good relationships, there should be a covenant where we are here to help each other become the best that we can be, but that breaks down when someone doesn’t take ownership of their behavior, and that’s the deepest pain that comes up in marriages. One party is trying their best, and the other isn’t taking responsibility for themselves. What you take initiative to deal with today will affect the rest of your married life, and what you ignore or are afraid to address will do the same.


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  • Marriage is first and foremost about love. It is bound together by the care, need, companionship, and values of two people, which can overcome hurt, immaturity, and selfishness to form something better than what each person alone can produce.
  • When people grow in character, they grow in the ability to set and receive boundaries in their marriages, and they mature. When they resist hearing the word no, they remain immature.
  • Many people believe that as we humans grow up physically, we automatically grow up emotionally as well, but that’s simply not true. Age is a necessary but insufficient requirement for growing up. There are immature old people, and there are appropriately mature young people.
  • Having boundaries in your marriage is not about fixing, changing, or punishing your significant other. If you aren’t in control of yourself, the solution is not learning to control someone else. The solution is learning self-control.

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