The Warning Signs of a Toxic Person

Here's What Toxic People Do

If you want to know how safe someone is, ask yourself: Is this person with me for themselves — or for us? There’s nothing wrong with bringing your needs to the connection. But it is wrong to exploit a relationship for your own ends only. 

Look for these warning signs: 

• When the other person helps me, he/she uses it later to get something from me. 
• I never hear from them unless they’re in trouble. 
• I feel like a mirror, as if my job is to listen and approve. 
• I’m constantly on the giving end (financially, time, resources).
• When my needs come up, they’re treated superficially. Attention then goes back to the other person. 

When there’s trouble, it will generally show in one person being the chronic “giver,” and the other person being the chronic “taker.” 

There’s a group that I lead through our Boundaries.Me community, and every day the issue of safe and unsafe relationships comes up. It’s so encouraging to see so many individuals make positive changes in their lives with support and empathy from others. I'd like for you to join me there for conversations around topics like this and have access to the growing video library of content.