Don't Try to Own Someone Else's Feelings

Jan 06, 2023

It's important to recognize that our feelings are our own, and that we are responsible for managing and expressing them. This doesn't mean that we should disregard the feelings of others or fail to show empathy and support, but rather that we should recognize that other people have their own emotions to deal with and that it's not our place to try to control or fix them. It's especially crucial to remember this in close relationships, where it's easy to get caught up in trying to protect or fix the other person. By acknowledging that everyone has the right to their own feelings and taking ownership of our own emotions, we can create a healthier and more supportive dynamic in our relationships.

Someone I know struggled to understand her boundaries because she believed that it was her responsibility to control her mother's emotions. She thought that she could change her mother's feelings of anger to happiness by altering her own actions. This situation caused her mother's emotions to have a significant impact on her life, and she was unable to assert her own boundaries and independence. It is important to remember that everyone is responsible for their own feelings and it is not healthy to try to control the emotions of others. My friend would benefit from learning to set boundaries and recognize that her mother's emotions are her own responsibility.

If we feel like we have to be responsible for other people's emotions, we lose the ability to make decisions based on what is right for us. We may end up making choices based on how others might react or feel about them instead. This can prevent us from living freely and authentically, as we may always be trying to keep everyone happy. However, it's important to remember that we cannot measure our own success or fulfillment based on whether or not others are unhappy with us. When we feel responsible for others' dissatisfaction, we allow ourselves to be controlled by them.

Boundaries are crucial in maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring that we are able to make decisions based on our own values and beliefs, rather than constantly trying to appease others. When we feel responsible for other people's feelings, we can become controlled by them, unable to make choices that might cause them to be upset or angry. This is especially true for those who may use emotional manipulation to try and control us, reinforcing their own immaturity. However, it is important to remember that we are responsible for our own emotions, and it is not our job to fix or change the feelings of others. By setting clear boundaries and taking ownership of our own disappointments, we can foster healthy, respectful relationships and avoid being controlled by others.

Clear boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, and taking responsibility for our own feelings is an important part of this. It's not fair or helpful to try to control someone else's emotions by changing our own behavior. Instead, we should recognize that other people are responsible for their own feelings and that it's not our job to try to constantly keep them happy. This doesn't mean we should be insensitive to others, but we need to respect their boundaries and allow them to process their own emotions. It's important to remember that we can't control how others feel, and trying to do so can actually be hurtful and damaging to the relationship. It's better to focus on being honest and open with our own emotions and respecting the boundaries of others.