How to Wipe the Slate Clean and Forgive YourselfNov 21, 2022
It is easy to blame ourselves for our past failures. We think that if only we had tried harder, or been more careful, we could have avoided the outcome we are now facing. We may even beat ourselves up for not being able to accomplish something that we really wanted. While it is important to learn from our mistakes, it is also important to forgive ourselves.
It is important to understand that failures are a part of life. Everyone experiences them, and they are not a reflection of our worth as individuals. Just because we have failed at something does not mean that we are bad people. It is important to remind ourselves of this when we are feeling down about a past failure.
Acknowledge your feelings, but don't let them define you. It’s normal to feel disappointed, discouraged, and even embarrassed when you fail. Allow yourself to experience these emotions, but don’t dwell on them. Acknowledge your feelings and then move on.
We need to let go of the idea that we could have done things differently. We cannot change the past, and dwelling on what might have been will only prevent us from moving forward. Accepting that things happen for a reason can help us to let go of the resentment and anger we may feel towards ourselves. This does not mean that we can’t learn from our mistakes. Understanding what went wrong and avoiding doing it again in the future is different than pointlessly wishing you could have done something differently.
Focus on the present. Forgiving ourselves for past failures means that we are ready to move on and start fresh. It is important to focus on the here and now, and not dwell on the past. This will help us to create a brighter future for ourselves because we know that we are now armed with the knowledge of an approach that didn’t work in the past, and the security that we will not repeat the same mistakes. We have the knowledge of the past but we stay focused on the present.
It is important to be kind to ourselves. We would never berate a friend for making a mistake, so why do we do it to ourselves? Beating ourselves up will only make us feel worse, and it will not help us to achieve our goals. Instead, we should focus on being gentle and understanding with ourselves. If you are stuck in a spiral of shame, reach out to one of your safe people, someone who cares about you and wants the best for you. Talking about your shame can help you to understand it better, and the other person likely has some nice things to say about you to counter your false narrative. If you’re not ready to talk, journaling can be a helpful way to understand and work through your thoughts.
Finally, we need to have faith in ourselves. Just because we have failed in the past does not mean that we will always fail. We need to believe in our ability to overcome obstacles and achieve our goals. Having faith in ourselves will give us the strength to keep going, even when things are tough. Don’t make it personalize the failure, don’t believe that it’s permanent, and don’t believe that failing this time in one area is any indication that you are going to fail again or in other areas.
Forgiving ourselves for past failures is not easy, but it is essential if we want to move on and achieve our goals. By understanding that everyone makes mistakes, letting go of the past, focusing on the present, being kind to ourselves, and having faith in our abilities, we can start fresh and create a bright future.