It's Not Selfish to Set Boundaries

Oct 28, 2017

I get this a lot from different people I talk to: Why do I need boundaries, and aren’t they selfish?

You were created to be free and act responsibility with the freedom you were given. You’re meant to have control of yourself and your decisions, and to have a good existence. But as we all know, we have formed habits to misuse our freedom, and as a result, have lost it. With the loss of freedom came the loss of self-control, and the results of losing self-control have been experienced in a wide variety of miseries, such as:

Controlling relationships where people try to control each other.
Faith that is practiced out of guilt and drudgery instead of freedom and love.
Being motivated by guilt, anger and fear instead of love.
The inability to gain control of our own behavior and solve problems in our lives.
The loss of control to addictive processes.

These are to name just a few. It is no wonder why the need for Boundaries is felt so deeply.

So aren’t boundaries selfish?

Well, no. Many people think that boundaries are about selfishness and are at their root, self-serving, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Boundaries are about freedom, and freedom is always meant to have, as its ultimate fruit, love. They’re about restoring freedom to you and me so that we can take control of our lives to love others. Ultimately, that’s the most rewarding part of boundaries, to love out of freedom and with purpose.

Set boundaries without guilt and shame. I know you can do it. Start here.