Navigating Your Feelings When You Set Boundaries

Uncategorized Feb 20, 2019

Boundaries have a two-sided nature. You may lose something, but you gain a new life of peacefulness and self control.

Fear of the unknown is a really powerful internal obstacle to overcome when setting boundaries. As one woman said, "I didn't want to move out of Hell. I knew the names of all the streets!"

Setting boundaries and being more independent is scary because it is a step into the unknown. Many of us are aware that we can be rewarded for stepping out on faith into the unknown. However, that doesn't always make it easy to do.

Change is frightening. It may comfort you to know, that if you are afraid, you are possibly on the right road -- the road to change and growth. One businessman I know says that if he's not totally frightened at some point in every day, he is not stretching himself far enough. He is very successful at what he does.

Boundaries separate you from what you have known and what you do not want. They open up all sorts of new options for you. You will have mixed emotions as you let go of the old and familiar and venture out into the new.

As a two-year-old you stepped away from your mom and dad to explore the world. As a five-year-old you left home to go to school, opening up possibilities of socialization and learning. As an adolescent, you stepped further away from your parents as new competencies and possibilities emerged. As a high school graduate, you left for college or got a job and learned how to live on your own.

These steps are scary indeed. But, along with the fear, you stretched to new heights and possibilities.

Boundaries have a two-sided nature. You may lose something, but you gain a new life of peacefulness and self-control.

Need a safe place to relate to others about this topic? Join one of Dr. Henry Cloud's Boundaries Peer Groups. 

Boundaries in Marriage
Boundaries with Codependency
Boundaries in Dating
 
Boundaries with Parents
Boundaries with Adult Children
Boundaries After Divorce
Boundaries with Narcissists
Boundaries with Kids and Teens

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