Taking Steps to Evict the Critical Voices in Your Head

May 15, 2018

Many people go through life with an internal critic, a “voice” inside their head that’s always telling them fearful, negative, or critical things that make them afraid. Sometimes that voice says things such as: 

See, you’re a loser. No one is going to like you if you screw this up. 
• If that deal does not go through, your career is over, and you will never get another job. 
• You’ll never be forgiven for that. 
• Did you feel that? You’re losing it. You’ll go crazy. They will have to lock you up, and everyone will know. You are out of control. 
• That is the worst thing you could ever do. You’re such scum. 
• If this happens, it will be terrible, awful, horrible, and your life will be over. 
• If this person rejects you, it proves you are worthless and that no one will ever want you. 

If you are constantly hearing these kinds of critical messages in your head, it’s likely that you internalized the meanness of someone who said these kinds of things to you in the past, and perhaps is still saying them. We can internalize meanness just as we can internalize love.

So, what do we do? Find out where those negative voices came from and evict them! Remember, something must take up that space, so be sure that you are in good, supportive relationships and that you are internalizing their affirming voices so that they can take place of your mean critics. You were created for healthy relationships, and you are deserving of the love and support you’ll receive to drive away those critical thoughts. Also, consider looking beyond your current social circles; get connected with a specific support group or find a counselor.

I'm leading a group online where we offer support and encouragement to those who want to evict those critical voices, set boundaries and make healthy changes. If you'd like to join my group, you can get more information here.