The Reason You Feel Like Nothing Helps and Nothing Works

Uncategorized Feb 25, 2019

Today I want to tell you about two supremely essential things you need for change to improve your life. Let’s start at the beginning.

One of the things that we tend to do, is we will tend to do things in the way we've always done them. I always say to people, "You know what, we don't need new ways to fail. The old ones are working just fine." What we've got to do is, we've got to get above those patterns and begin to do things in a new way.

First of all, we all need the wake-up call that tells us, "I don't have problems. What I have is, I have patterns that cause problems." If I can see that, and I can identify the pattern, and then we're on our way to making fruitful change.

There are about 10 patterns that end up causing most of our problems. If I can see that and I can observe them, then I can move forward with change. For example, I can identify that I may need to strive for progress and not perfection. Everything we know about growth is that growth is incremental, and it's directional. It isn't all or nothing. So the first mindset that someone's got to get in is, "I'm gonna be in a process of change, not of instant change, and that I've gotta keep getting better, a little bit further each and every day and stop thinking in an all-or-nothing way."

We've got to really, really make sure we're opening ourselves up to two things: a new source of energy, support from other people; and we've gotta learn new ways, we've gotta learn new principles, and we gotta have new knowledge and new skills. That's the way you see people change.

Need a safe place to relate to others about this topic? Join one of Dr. Henry Cloud's Boundaries Peer Groups. 

Boundaries in Marriage
Boundaries with Codependency
Boundaries in Dating
 
Boundaries with Parents
Boundaries with Adult Children
Boundaries After Divorce
Boundaries with Narcissists
Boundaries with Kids and Teens

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