The Toxic Behaviors You Don’t Have to TolerateJul 12, 2018
Simply put — You get what you tolerate. In text, it can look like a harsh truth, but let me explain.
This phrase holds true whether you are raising a puppy, a child, a direct report or a spouse. (Hopefully you’re not raising a spouse, but it happens.) It holds true when you are negotiating a deal, working with an account, or supervising an employee. It will come into every context of life in some form or another. Many times it is innocent, like in very good relationships. One person will have a habit or practice that is not a problem for him or her, but is a problem for the other person. If the other person tolerates that behavior and does not talk about it, then it will remain in place until the other person finally says, “Excuse me, but you are stepping on my toe.” And in good relationships, the ebb and flow of the relationship is to talk to each other about what you would wish not to have in the relationship, and then you will not have it. That’s normal.
It is especially important to remember this when dealing with the kind of person who does not observe their own behavior and correct it when they become aware of it. It’s vital for you to set limits with these people. Their behavior must be limited in its ability to affect you. If not, you will only get more of it.
You don't have to tolerate toxic behaviors from others. I want to tell you more about that here.
Need a safe place to relate to others about this topic? Join one of Dr. Henry Cloud's Boundaries Peer Groups.
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