Time Doesn't Heal All Things, but Here's What You Can Do

Uncategorized Nov 01, 2018

Somehow this idea that time heals all wounds has become a very popular one, and yet that kind of thinking can be a big source of pain for a lot of people (especially those with an infected tooth!). Time passing by itself doesn't do much for us at all. It's all of the things that we do that changes us, for better and worse, as we accumulate experiences. For those of us that accept the passage of time but resist making any changes, we shouldn't expect to see much difference.

If someone breaks your heart, and you don't do anything to address the emotional trauma that person has created within you, sure, over time, you might not think about it as much. But it will never be too far from the surface. Those emotional wounds will be ready to rip right open again at the slightest suggestion of any kind of similar trouble.

If someone at work violates your trust in a way that compromises your standing with your boss, do you think those changes are going to heal with time? No, you're going to have to take the right steps to reestablish your good standing. That means communication, that means holding other people accountable for the role they're playing in your relationships, and possibly redrawing the boundaries in your life. That also means owning up to your part in any problems you've got.

We are not shaped by a string of events that simply happen to us. We are shaped by the ways we act, react, adapt, change and grow as a result of those events. When we need the strength to change, we only have to ask for it. But we must live that change ourselves, because time will not change much by itself.

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