What Keeps Some People in Bad Relationships

May 01, 2020

"Understanding fear and how you tend to back off may be the step of awareness that help you make better choices."

Alicia feared losing Daniel. She was so afraid of being alone that she could not say no to him. Blinding herself to the problem, she would take any chance of staying with him. She was controlled by fear.

Have you thought about why you are afraid of confronting another person? If you haven’t, your fears will probably hold you back, and you won’t get the outcome you desire.

Here are some common fears. Do you relate to any of these?

  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of disapproval
  • Fear of retaliation
  • Fear of loss
  • Fear of the other person’s anger
  • Fear of requiring another person to take responsibility
  • Fear of depriving someone
  • Fear of conflict
  • Fear of being mean
  • Fear of being seen as the “bad guy.”
  • Fear of not knowing how to confront
  • Fear of a lack of closure in a relationship or conflict
  • Fear of one’s own imperfection and the feeling of “What business do I have confronting? I’m not perfect either.”
  • Fear of being “out-maneuvered”
  • Fear of being overpowered or hurt

Fear does many things to our performance. Being too afraid can affect our ability to think quickly, speak out, take a stand and do other things as well. Be aware of your fears and deal with them. Knowing what they are and being aware will help you see your fears when they arise, observe them, and not give in to them. You can stop using them as “cues” to back down. Understanding fear and how you tend to back off may be the step of awareness that help you make better choices.

Please note that this is a start for addressing general conflict within relationships. If you believe that you are in an abusive situation, please seek the help of your local authorities and/or a mental health professional.

Let's talk about the fear of leaving a disrespectful relationship, and join me here to talk about how to be respected in future relationships.