Why You Shouldn't Even Try to Please Everyone

May 16, 2020

To some extent, we’re all guilty of people-pleasing, some more than others. But there are so many reasons not to please everyone that it would be difficult to list them all here. Seeking others’ approval steals time, energy and focus, and even if you did make everyone happy, you’d be worse off.

If you are making everyone happy, you are also making some of the wrong people happy! You’re trying to please people who are judgmental, controlling or arrogant, people who require others to do what they want them to do before they extend approval. So, to keep hurtful people happy, you must do some things that are not good in the long run. You have to make some bad choices to keep these people smiling.

So, here’s what you do — You make decisions based on what is best, not on who is going to like it. Here are a few examples:

  • Choosing a profession that is right for you, even if your friends or family would like for you to do something different.
  • Standing up to hurtful behavior, such as addictions or abuse, even if the addict gets upset.
  • Parenting your children well and being able to say no to the child who wants to do something that is not good for him.
  • Refusing to do unethical, immoral, or illegal things that someone in power, such as a boss, friend or even family member wants you to do.
  • Telling someone a necessary truth about behavior that is hurtful to themselves, others, the family, or the team.
  • Making decisions that are right for your own family, even when it displeases parents or in-laws.

Let's talk more about how to say no to people-pleasing. 
Or if you'd like to work together to set boundaries, I'll take the next step with you