Why Your Partner Needs to Be Validated to Resolve ConflictMar 18, 2021
Validation is necessary for couples to navigate successfully through conflict because we all need to be heard and understood. We really don't move forward to resolve conflicts when we do not feel we have been understood.
Think about the last fight you had with your partner. When you were trying to get your feelings across, did your partner minimize, dismiss, or simply not understand what you were saying? What was that like for you? How did that affect your ability and desire to hear their side of things? Most likely, not receiving validation from your mate disconnected things even further.
A lack of validation essentially puts your heart in prison: you have expressed your views, but you feel that you have not been heard. You are left all by yourself with your viewpoint, feelings, and experiences. Yet you are required to hear your partner's side—the bad things you have done. This imprisonment generally results in disconnection, guilt, false external compliance, anger, and a host of other reactions that will tear a relationship apart.
When couples learn to validate each other's experiences, they feel that their partner is part of their life again. They no longer feel alone.
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