“No matter how many times I read that I'm forgiven, I just don't feel it," Stephen said. "I know the Bible tells me God accepts me. I know it in my head, but I can't feel it in my heart."
"What have you tried to do to change that?" I asked.
"Well, I've tried memorizing verses and...
Many times, the pain that we drag into new situations is the pain of failure from the past. If you are feeling guilty or ashamed of things that you have done, you can have difficulty going into new relationships or situations because you feel "bad" or "unworthy." To tackle life with gusto, we...
No one wants to suffer, and it’s natural to want to avoid pain and discomfort. Yet, if you’re seeking to grow, normalizing suffering will facilitate the growth process in your personal development.
Let’s start by understanding how suffering actually helps with growth. Although...
You may be familiar with the story of Job -- his suffering was not the result of some sin he had done; in fact, he suffered because he was doing such a good job in life. God pointed Job out as an example of righteousness (Job 1:8), and then God allowed him to suffer for his purposes (see...
A new group for divorced singles was opening up at Megan’s church, so she decided to join. On the first night there, she shared a story about the issues with her husband.
“He was an addict, and I made excuses for his behavior all the time. I didn’t want to believe things were that bad, so I...
I got an emergency call, and the office relayed to me that I had a suicidal client. I called Theresa on the phone. She was distraught.
“Tell me what happened,” I said.
“It’s not going to work,” Theresa replied, sobbing.
“What isn’t going to work?”
...
Denying our sinfulness is natural. Who wants to claim something that makes us uncomfortable? It's not easy to own.
But what about negative feelings that are not sinful -- the ones that result merely from living in a less-than-perfect world or from getting sinned against? What is one to do with...
Somehow this idea that time heals all wounds has become a very popular one, and yet that kind of thinking can be a big source of pain for a lot of people (especially those with an infected tooth!). Time passing by itself doesn't do much for us at all. It's all of the things that we do that...
I hate exercise, but I do it. I hate lifting weights and riding my exercise bike, but I do it. I do it because, if I do, I will be healthier, will live longer, and will feel better.
So, why bring up exercise when we're talking about suffering and grief? Well, first of all, it shows you that I am...
Laurel’s father had insisted his 22-year-old daughter come see me. Laurel, a college student, was suffering from depression. She had no appetite and had trouble sleeping and studying. Her father accompanied her to the appointment.
“What’s the problem?” I asked Laurel,...
“I know I’m supposed to forgive,” a woman said to me at a seminar. “But, I just can’t open myself up to that kind of hurt anymore. I know I should forgive him and trust him, but if I let him back in, the same thing will happen, and I can’t go through that...
"But he's really sorry this time," she said. "When I confronted him with what I knew, he cried and said he was so heartbroken about what he had done. I could tell he was really torn up about it."
My counselee was referring to her husband, whom she had discovered had been seeing another woman. She...
