When Someone is Angry at Your Boundaries, it’s Their Problem, Not Yours

Uncategorized Mar 02, 2020

When you establish a new boundary with someone else, the most common form of resistance one gets is anger. People who get angry at others for setting boundaries have a character problem. Self-centered, they think the world exists for them and their comfort. They see others as extensions of themselves.

When they hear the word “no,” they have the same reaction a two-year-old has when deprived of something: “Bad Mommy!” They feel as though the one who deprives them of their wishes is “bad,” and they become angry. They are not righteously angry at a real offense. Nothing has been done “to them” at all. Someone will not do something “for them.” Their wish is being frustrated, and they get angry because they have not learned to delay gratification or to respect others’ freedom.

The angry person has a character problem. If you reinforce this character problem, it will return tomorrow and the next day in other situations. It...

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Having Difficult Conversations about Boundary Violations

Uncategorized Feb 21, 2020

Amanda had issues with her in-laws and wasn't sure how to address the boundary violations that had occurred since she and her husband had gotten married.

"They like to tell us how things should be," she said. "I think his mom comes from a good place sometimes, but she comes across as overly critical."

I explained to her that a good place to start is being emotionally present and connected while confronting her mother-in-law, and this is something that will require quite a bit of grace.

When you're present with someone, it means you're in touch and in tune with your own feelings as well as those of the other person. This is so important because when we are there, meaning, emotionally present, we make ourselves available to the other person. Amanda's mother-in-law won't be shut off from her while she's telling her a difficult reality about the relationship. Confrontation is not easy to absorb for anyone, but presence and connection help make that tolerable.

Also, when you are present...

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You're Not Selfish For Doing This

Uncategorized Dec 23, 2019


I just wanted to check in with you ahead of the next couple of days and ask ... What are you doing to ensure that your needs are being met right now? 

I want you to know that it's not selfish to put yourself first sometimes. It's OK to have some time to yourself, give yourself a break, rest, honor how you're feeling, assess your needs or get away for a little while. 

How are you making time to do that? For many, it may feel impossible. You feel like you're just holding everything together. Maybe you've told yourself, "I just need to 'make it' through these next few days ... this next week ... through the rest of the year." 

How many times have you told yourself that you just 'have to make it'? How would you like to change that dynamic and tell yourself, "Here's what needs to be done, and I'm going to feel good about it!" 

The other day in my Boundaries.Me group, I started a conversation asking individuals to share how they're feeling ahead of Christmas and invited...

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Let's Talk About Your Boundaries Goals in Person!

Uncategorized Dec 20, 2019

I’m going to make a quick list of things you don’t need to take with you into next year, or the next decade, for that matter. I mean, think about it — Not only do you have a chance to start over for the new year, you have the entire decade ahead of you. 

Here’s what I’d suggest you leave behind: 

  • Drama
  • Manipulators 
  • Guilt-Trippers
  • Gaslighters
  • Energy-drainers
  • Codependent habits

Here’s what I’d like to see you do: 

  • Grow closer in your spiritual relationships
  • Experience peace
  • Say no to the bad
  • Say yes to the good
  • Have more energy
  • Restore love and freedom in your relationships 
  • Heal from your past

What picture do you have in your mind when you think about where you want to be at this time next year? You know it’s not going to happen if you just think about it. You have to put a plan in place to ensure that you do it. Any time you think about something new that you’re doing, your mind envisions the most...

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I Want to Fly You Out to Beverly Hills to Talk About Boundaries

Uncategorized Dec 20, 2019

If you had a chance to sit down and ask me anything about boundaries, what would you want to know? 

More about boundaries in marriage (or with in-laws)?
More about boundaries with your family of origin? 
More about boundaries in your friendships?
More about boundaries with codependent habits? 

How about this — I’ll fly you out to Beverly Hills, pay for you to stay in a hotel in the area, and we’ll do lunch and talk about boundaries. This is your chance to talk to me in person!

I’d like for you to know that if you’re undecided about becoming a Boundaries.Me lifetime member, this is definitely the time to do it. Not only do you get a chance to win a trip to come meet me, but your membership only increases in value over time. 
Think about this … 

  • There are currently more than 60 hours of content in the Boundaries.Me digital library. My team and I add at least two courses a month, so the library continues to GROW! 
  • You...
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Why It's Difficult for Someone to Receive a Gift

Uncategorized Dec 05, 2019
 

A person who gives often struggles to receive. Why is that? 

A hurt or a pain from the past makes it difficult to receive a gift -- whether it's a compliment or a present. A person who has trouble receiving a gift has likely been betrayed, struggles to feel worthy of someone's goodness, or they don't want to feel like they're a burden and owe someone a favor. 

This holiday season, I'd like to encourage you to open your heart to the gifts of others. Perhaps the person giving is responding to their calling or a prayer. It brings them joy to give or to use their talents, and to deny their gifts is to deny their experience of joy. 

[Note: This is in reference to genuine giving and not in the context of receiving gifts from someone who chooses to do so out of manipulation, control or abuse.]

Seeking to connect with others? Join one of Dr. Henry Cloud's Boundaries Peer Groups. 

Boundaries in Marriage
Boundaries with Codependency
Boundaries in Dating
 
...

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Why Compliments Are One of the Best Ways to Improve a Relationship

Uncategorized Dec 03, 2019
 

Think about the last time someone gave you a compliment. How did it make you feel?

Perhaps it was unexpected, and maybe you did something that you didn't think warranted any special attention. But that compliment instantly created a sense of connectedness and closeness to the person who gave it to you. 

Compliments are usually easy to give, especially if they're genuine. (How we receive them may be difficult, but we'll talk about that a bit later!) So, for giving Thursday, I want you to reach out to someone and give them a compliment. Send a text, write them a direct message, call them or just say it to their face! 

Who's been on your mind to compliment? Let them know how you feel! 


Want to get connected with others? Join one of Dr. Henry Cloud's Boundaries Peer Groups. 

Boundaries in Marriage
Boundaries with Codependency
Boundaries in Dating
 
Boundaries with Parents
Boundaries with Adult Children
Boundaries After Divorce
Boundaries with Narcissists
...

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Create Your Good Vibe Tribe for 2020

Uncategorized Dec 03, 2019

Hey everyone,

Today is the last day of our sale. You've only got a few hours left to save big on the streaming coaching service that will give you the daily guidance you need to thrive.

Click here to get huge savings on plans that could save you a lot of money on webinars and in-person events.

If you plan on investing energy in 2020 on:

Feeling better (depression, anxiety, stress)
Relationships (making relationships stronger, stop being controlled, healing broken relationships)
Goals and Dreams (feeling healthy, writing that book, getting that promotion, spending more time with family)

Then please do not delay in signing up for Boundaries.me, as this is the absolute best time of year to do it.

Our courses offer you ongoing coaching, right when you need it, to help you in the big 3 areas of life (feelings, relationships and goals).

The annual subscription is our most popular deal.

The Lifetime Member tier is our best and newest deal.

And as always, we're offering the same great $9 per...

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Let Me Help You Change Your Life

Uncategorized Dec 01, 2019

Whether you're thinking about an annual membership (works out to just $6 per month), a lifetime membership (benefits worth more than $1,500 per year), or just our regular $9 per month offer, now is the time to act. There's just two days left to save on a subscription that will actually change your life.

Click here to sign up so I can coach you.

boundaries.me membership is a huge source of power and growth for our subscribers, but we'd like to share what they have to say about us. We asked subscribers: Why do you stay subscribed to Boundaries.me?

We're keeping names anonymous because we value the privacy of our subscribers.

Here's what they said:


"I am learning a lot with the content that’s provided. I learn from hearing others share their experiences and the suggestions the community provides. I can log in and look for something that is directly in reference to what I’m dealing with at that moment. It is a safe place to go to when I’m in crisis...

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Get the Boundaries You Need for a Lifetime

Uncategorized Nov 30, 2019

We're onto Day 2 of the Black Friday and Cyber Monday Boundaries.me promotion. This thing doesn't last forever, so click here to save at least 33% on content that will actually change your life.

This is the only time of year that our annual memberships are just $72 (which works out to $6 per month).

As always, we're offering our $9 monthly subscription too.

Today, however, we're going to discuss the Lifetime Membership tier. It's the best deal we've ever offered, and we'll explain why.

We created the Lifetime Membership tier because 65% of our surveyed users told us they would like us to offer it. It's that simple. So, we set to work figuring out what that would look like.

A lifetime membership is a one-time fee of $499, but it's actually the best deal we offer. When the events and webinars we're planning in 2020 start rolling around, you're going to be really glad that you purchased the lifetime membership in order to use the extras and savings throughout the year.

For that one-time...

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