When I was trained in addictions treatment, I was taught that a codependent person plays a role in the addiction of the person they're connected to; and when I began to interact with clients, I was amazed at how true that was. Change the codependent, and the addict often changes as well. I...
When two people marry, two lives blur together to make a new one; two become one. The blurring of expectations and feelings can become an issue. Many times a spouse will automatically expect that the love in the marriage means that their spouse will always see things their way. They may feel...
In the last several decades of addiction treatment, one of the most powerful discoveries has been the role of the codependent in addictions. Basically, researchers learned that an addict needs a codependent to enable staying addicted. But beyond that, codependent people continually find...
Showing mutual respect towards your partner is something we all strive to do. It sounds like something that should be easy to convey, but in practice our relationships are never that simple.
In this episode of Dr. Henry Cloud’s Boundaries.Me podcast, Liz Bohannon, author, speaker...
I was on a financial radio show taking calls about setting boundaries in families with financial issues. A woman called about her forty-year-old sister to whom she and her husband had been giving money for several years. It seemed that the sister had a lot of problems and “needed their...
Being honest with ourselves about what we can and can't put up with is crucial to becoming a healthy person.
When you establish a new boundary with someone else, the most common form of resistance one gets is anger. People who get angry at others for setting boundaries have a character problem. Self-centered, they think the world exists for them and their comfort. They see others as extensions of...
I just wanted to check in with you ahead of the next couple of days and ask ... What are you doing to ensure that your needs are being met right now?
I want you to know that it's not selfish to put yourself first sometimes. It's OK to have some time to yourself, give yourself a break, rest,...
I’m going to make a quick list of things you don’t need to take with you into next year, or the next decade, for that matter. I mean, think about it — Not only do you have a chance to start over for the new year, you have the entire decade ahead of you.
Here’s what...
If you had a chance to sit down and ask me anything about boundaries, what would you want to know?
More about boundaries in marriage (or with in-laws)?
More about boundaries with your family of origin?
More about boundaries in your friendships?
More about boundaries with codependent...
A person who gives often struggles to receive. Why is that?
A hurt or a pain from the past makes it difficult to receive a gift -- whether it's a compliment or a present. A person who has trouble receiving a gift has likely been betrayed, struggles to feel worthy of someone's...
Think about the last time someone gave you a compliment. How did it make you feel?
Perhaps it was unexpected, and maybe you did something that you didn't think warranted any special attention. But that compliment instantly created a sense of connectedness and closeness to the person who gave it...
