Seven Reasons Why You Might Be Unhappy Jun 21, 2020

Consciously or unconsciously, we are all driven to grow. We see a future that we want to live in, and we are either able to intentionally get there, or we cannot. A major determinant of whether you will get there or not is simply that you actually believe that you can.

We carry around a huge...

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Entering a Relationship After Being Hurt Jun 17, 2020

You were created to long for attachment, to desire to matter to someone and to “hunger and thirst” for relationship. You were made that way so you could know when to seek comfort and connect. Just like your car’s gas gauge, your needs tell you when you’re on...

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God Created us to Bond with Safe People Jun 15, 2020

Bonding is the ability to establish an emotional attachment to another person. It’s the ability to relate to another on the deepest lever. When two people have a bond with each other, they share their deepest thoughts, dreams, and feelings with each other with no fear that the other person...

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6 Leadership Principles to Take Home to Your Family Jun 15, 2020

Believe it or not, there’s not a huge difference between leading at work and leading at home.

In fact, if we asked some of our colleagues who actually liked their statistics courses about the predictive validity of certain leadership traits in creating healthy families, my guess is that the...

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Understanding the Pain that Comes From Your Family of Origin Jun 11, 2020

Amanda had a problem that I had seen countless times before. This thirty-year-old woman would return from a visit to her parents’ home and suffer a deep depression. When she described her problem to me, I asked her if she noticed that every time she went home to visit, she came back...

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Setting Boundaries with a Hostile Spouse Jun 10, 2020

Amy and Blake had been married for eight years, and they loved each other. However, when he was angry or upset, Blake became moody and would withdraw from Amy and the kids, except for occasional outbursts of anger. When his manufacturing business was struggling, he would sit silently through...

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What to Do When You've Been Burned Too Many Times Jun 08, 2020

I worked with someone who once told me they were “done” with people. Their sentiment was understood. After being hurt multiple times in different capacities, I could see why they came to that conclusion. I just didn’t agree with it.

But before you believe you’re...

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This is How to Respond to a Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Jun 06, 2020

For many of us, family get-togethers can be a real pain in the you-know-what. How wonderful it would be to have a perfect, happy family with no issues. But human beings live messy lives, and we do so many things the wrong way before we have sufficient wisdom to know the best approach. 

Not...

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Unsafe People Will Not Give You Freedom, So Hereā€™s What You Do Jun 04, 2020

I remember one woman came into therapy with extreme anger toward her family and all of their "expectations." I agreed with her that her family's expectations were wrong and that I understood her anger. She was very comforted that I agreed with her on that point. But when I suggested that they...

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A Toxic Behavior to Watch For Jun 04, 2020

Please note that this is not meant to invalidate pain you've experienced. This is written in the context of resolving conflict that can happen between two people. 

Safe relationships are centered and grounded in forgiveness. When you have a friend with the ability to forgive you for...

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Donā€™t Allow Yourself to Enable Irresponsible People May 27, 2020

Christine was an administrative assistant in a small company that planned training sessions for different industries. She was responsible for booking the training sessions and managing the speakers’ schedules. Her coworker, Jack, was responsible for the training facilities. He took the...

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How An Addict Started to Make Changes to His Life May 26, 2020

Sam, 28, was admitted into our hospital program after an accidental drug overdose. He had neglected to keep track of how much cocaine he was ingesting.

In the first few sessions, we discovered that although Sam had a genus IQ, he had failed out of two colleges and had never been able to hold down...

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