If you've ever experienced a panic attack, you know that your thoughts can spiral out-of-control and manifest into symptoms to make you feel as if you're in a life-threatening situation. It can feel like a perpetual cycle that leaves you with feelings of impending doom. It's cripples your life,...
Just as there are smart and dumb risks, there are also helpful and useless fears. Like any emotion, fear serves as a signal to us. It alerts us to potentially dangerous situations and prepares us to take proactive action. That is why there are physiological components to fear: increased heart...
When you establish a new boundary with someone, the most common form of resistance is anger. People who get angry at others for setting boundaries have a character problem. Self-centered, they think the world exists for them and their comfort. They see others as extensions of themselves.
I'm...
If social distancing has you feeling inclined to over-indulge in a particular vice, a little mindfulness and setting a boundary can go a long way right now. Once you have identified your boundary problem and owned it, you can do something about it. Here are some ways to begin practicing...
In this episode of Dr. Cloud's Boundaries.Me podcast, Dr. Dan Allender tells the story of how clarity around what he's uniquely meant to do in this world helped him naturally form boundaries.
When we know our calling, it gives us clarity as to why we're doing what we're doing. Forming...
Jim came into therapy because of his inability to get things done at home. He said, “I am irresponsible, and my wife is very displeased with me. I can’t seem to follow through on anything.”
“What sorts of things don’t you follow through on?” I asked.
...
Sometimes we struggle to ask for help. You may be the person everyone runs to for help, or maybe you feel like you would be a burden to someone. Let’s talk about the ways that make it ok for us to seek help from others.
Here are a few of the reasons asking is helpful for us:
- When we ask,...
I will never forget the day that I was almost taken out by a U.S. Marine. I was a little kid working in a boat dealership when I walked into the shop one day and said, “Hey Tommy, have you seen that spare tire for the trailer?” When I did, I startled Tommy, a Viet Nam...
Whether it’s maintaining personal health, thriving in a certain situation, reaching goals or organizational performance, fulfillment requires our reliance on the “others” in our circle. We need them. And our outcomes greatly depend on the quality of how those...
Who are you going to be?
Dr. Les Carter is a therapist and best-selling author of “When Pleasing You is Killing Me” and “The Anger Trip." In this episode of the podcast, he shares with us his story about setting a boundary around staying centered on being himself....
Several years ago I had spoken at a leadership conference, and I was walking down the hall backstage with a friend of mine, who happened to be the event host. We were talking about the incredible growth and reach of her organization and all the great work it was doing, but something else also...
Paul came into therapy because his wife was frustrated with his emotional distance from the children. As we explored what made it difficult for him to connect with his children, I asked Paul about his own father.
His father was wonderful, Paul told me, and he had always looked up to him. "It...
