I remember one woman came into therapy with extreme anger toward her family and all of their "expectations." I agreed with her that her family's expectations were wrong and that I understood her anger. She was very comforted that I agreed with her on that point. But when I suggested that they...
Please note that this is not meant to invalidate pain you've experienced. This is written in the context of resolving conflict that can happen between two people.
Safe relationships are centered and grounded in forgiveness. When you have a friend with the ability to forgive you for...
Christine was an administrative assistant in a small company that planned training sessions for different industries. She was responsible for booking the training sessions and managing the speakers’ schedules. Her coworker, Jack, was responsible for the training facilities. He took the...
Sam, 28, was admitted into our hospital program after an accidental drug overdose. He had neglected to keep track of how much cocaine he was ingesting.
In the first few sessions, we discovered that although Sam had a genus IQ, he had failed out of two colleges and had never been able to hold down...
Michelle and Kristin were partners in an online craft business they launched over social media. Though the two had seen a great deal of success, personal issues were starting to come between the two friends.
One day Michelle confronted Kristin on a behavior that had been bothering her.
"You...
When you think about whether or not hope is realistic — whether it’s a relationship or a certain scenario — you have to ask yourself, “Who am I dealing with?” Character, giftedness and all of who a person is, the person’s makeup, is the future.
This is often...
"Your safe people need to point out to you that you aren’t really 'present' when you can’t bring your differences to a relationship."
In most adult children of controlling upbringings, the will to be self-directed and separated is undeveloped. We all need the ability to decide what we...
The following was written to address general unsafe behavior and may not be applicable for situations where abuse is/was present. If you have been in a relationship where abuse was present, please seek the help of a counselor and/or law enforcement.
As any psychologist will tell you, fear is...
After more than 20 years in the profession of helping people, I have come to understand something: we cause much of our pain by the people we choose. And just to note here, I'm not talking about situations of abuse. Abuse is never, ever your fault.
In every kind of clinical issue that...
Becoming an adult is a process of taking on more and more power and responsibility as we become old enough to handle them. Adults identify with the adult role enough to be able to do grown-up things without conflict, including developing a career, engaging in sexuality, establishing mutual...
Negative thoughts have power. Everyone has them, but you don’t have to grab them and treat them like reality when they come into your mind. One of the most researched and proven techniques of changing moods is to dispute your negative thinking with the truth, and in this call from The Dr....
One of the most important boundaries that people have to establish is against the tendency to put off changes that they know need to be made. If you think about it, much “waiting” and putting off changes has nothing to do with “getting more information,” or “waiting...
