How to Guard Your Heart From Toxicity Jul 20, 2018

The fruitfulness of our lives will come from our hearts.

Developing our inner selves helps us prioritize our lives. When we look to our inner selves, we begin to be a guardian of our hearts, making sure that they are strong and healthy, because we know that the fruitfulness of our lives will come...

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Here’s what’s creating the biggest problems in your life Jul 17, 2018

 We repeat patterns in our lives without knowing that our pattern is creating the problem.

We could be going back to the same toxic relationships, giving it chance after chance. We could be indulging in the same bad habits that aren’t good for us, thinking it won’t affect us is...

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The Toxic Behaviors You Don’t Have to Tolerate Jul 12, 2018

Simply put — You get what you tolerate. In text, it can look like a harsh truth, but let me explain.

This phrase holds true whether you are raising a puppy, a child, a direct report or a spouse. (Hopefully you’re not raising a spouse, but it happens.) It holds true when you are...

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The One Thing We All Have in Common? We All Struggle, and It's OK! Jun 26, 2018

I once led a retreat in a secluded setting for a few days. Eight people from all over the country had gathered together to support each other and go through the material I was presenting. The first night I had them all talk about where they were in their lives and what they desired to get from...

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3 Types of Pain You Deal With and How to Heal Jun 24, 2018

For those growing and for those who help them, the call is threefold. First, do not refer to pain and suffering caused by character patterns as “growth pain” Unless you can use this pain as a wake-up call. It is worthless. It is not legitimate suffering. It is the fruit of a lack...

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Boundaries Are Not Something you ’Set On’ Someone Jun 08, 2018

There is a lot of misunderstanding about boundaries, especially in the context of marriage. Some people are against boundaries because they see them as selfish. Other people actually use boundaries to be selfish. Both are wrong. Boundaries in marriage are basically about self-control.

A client...

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Children Need Two Important Things from You: Gratification and Frustration Jun 08, 2018

When children come into the world, they are confused about the nature of their relationships. They do not think they are dealing with one person. In their minds, there are two mommies, not one. Or, two daddies, not one. There is the “good” mommy and the “bad” one.

The good...

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How Poor Communication Ends a Relationship: What Not to Do Jun 08, 2018

Telling other people what you want is key to feeling alive in a relationship and keeping things vibrant for both people. If only one person is getting his or her desires met, the relationship suffers. Unfortunately, many people do not get what they want in a relationship. But, they could if they...

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‘Hate’ Doesn’t Have to Be A Bad Thing May 25, 2018

One evening as I was doing a seminar, I asked people in the audience to list what comes to mind when they thought of the word hate. The response I got was a list of bad things:

  • You should not feel it.
  • I do it too easily.
  • I feel guilty for feeling it.
  • It comes from fear.
  • I feel uncomfortable with...
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How Abuse Violates Our Boundaries May 23, 2018

Our most basic boundary is our body. When we possess our bodies, we know they belong to us. We can feel them, we can own the pleasure they bring us through our senses, and we are in touch with them.

To invade another person’s body, to cross over this person’s boundaries, is the most...

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The Fastest Way to Make Yourself Miserable May 18, 2018

You’re scrolling through Facebook, and what do you see?

That guy from high school you haven’t talked to in years posted a photo of his family in matching outfits and adorable smiles.

That couple you knew in college is doing a food tour in Taipei.

That girl you used to work with...

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Taking Steps to Evict the Critical Voices in Your Head May 15, 2018

Many people go through life with an internal critic, a “voice” inside their head that’s always telling them fearful, negative, or critical things that make them afraid. Sometimes that voice says things such as: 

See, you’re a loser. No one is going to like you...

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