It will happen to nearly everyone at some point. You find yourself stuck in a relationship, maybe a romantic relationship, or a friendship, or a family relationship, with someone who continually makes you feel on guard, under threat, scrutinized, criticized, and sometimes even may put you in...
At the simplest level, resilience means you can withstand things. You can bounce back.
You can’t always control things. This world we live in has got a whole lot of stuff going on, and you’re not always going to be able to control what’s going to happen. The stock market will go...
Fear helps us to define our boundaries. We have to use this fear, rather than allow ourselves to be overcome by the fear. In order to do that, we need to understand the nature of our fears, and what they are indicating. Boundaries define what is our property to own, and what is not our property...
"What is a relationship red flag? It's a problem or pattern of problems that will hurt or destroy the relationship if it continues to go unaddressed.
You can't ignore termites, or they will destroy your house eventually.
Red flags are signals that we can use to discern what areas of the...
Some people struggle with the fact that they are not always the cause of their problems. This often hinders them from taking full ownership. A man whose company lays him off because of the economy may feel that he is owed another job because the layoff wasn't of his doing. Or a woman with a...
Sometimes we feel guilty without actually being guilty. We feel ashamed for things about which we need not feel shame. Why is there so much confusion around guilt and shame? Are guilt and shame ever useful, or good? Let’s explore the concepts of guilt and shame first, and then clear up the...
If you’re in therapy, or working on yourself, and you’ve spoken with other people about it (particularly family), you may find that after a while you’ll start to hear questions like:
- Aren’t you done with therapy yet?
- When will you be well?
- Isn’t it getting worse...
“Just call him and tell him that it is over,” I said to Marsha. I had listened to her for months now about her dating relationship with Scott and how she could not stand some of his hurtful patterns. And I was getting both concerned and tired of her denial of the kind of person that...
Brianna used to believe that she would never learn how to say no and make it stick. But, as she sat at her kitchen table with a coffee cup in hand, she felt amazed. It was an unfamiliar sensation, but a pleasant one. Her mind wandered back to the events of the morning. Her eight-year-old son,...
A great deal of helpful research has been done on cognitive distortions. Most cognitive experts agree that our brains sometimes automatically reach conclusions about things based on some habit or perception rather than accurately relating to what is really going on. Though it seems to us that we...
Developing the ability and confidence to say "no" to others is an important aspect of healthy communication and one of the foundational concepts of setting boundaries. Unfortunately, for some individuals, saying "no" can be extremely difficult.
There are many reasons, justifications, excuses, and...
It is not uncommon to feel like you are less than, or unequal to, the people around you. In some cases, this can be a great thing. You’ve probably heard it said that there are benefits to being the least smart person in the room. By surrounding yourself with people who have accomplished...