When to Have Hope and When to End a Bad Relationship Dec 27, 2020

One of the most crucial elements someone can bring to their life is hope. Among the most powerful forces in the universe, hope gives energy, sustenance, and direction to people to keep going, and to win against all odds. With hope, we can endure almost anything, and certainly more than if we lose...

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Unsafe People Will Apologize Without Changing Their Behavior Dec 27, 2020

"But he's really sorry this time," she said. "When I confronted him with what I knew, he cried and said he was so heartbroken about what he had done. I could tell he was really torn up about it."

My counselee was referring to her husband, whom she had discovered had been seeing another woman. She...

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I Want You to Frustrate People - Here's Why Dec 24, 2020

I have some questions for you. 

Is someone else going to decide how next year goes? Is someone else going to stop you from living to your fullest potential?

Or... are you in charge?

That’s what I want for you. I want you to leave a trail of frustrated people in your wake in 2021. I...

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What it Means to be Independent from Your Mom Dec 22, 2020

If you had a controlling mom, you’ve most likely experienced problems in separation, autonomy, and individualization — becoming your own person. We’ll go through the necessary steps to repair yourself, but first, let’s clarify the real problem.

A controlling mom may be the...

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Empathize with Others Hurting This Holiday Season Dec 21, 2020

The holidays can be a tough time for people that are feeling down. If you're not feeling holiday cheer, many people think you're a grinch.

But not everyone wants to “deck the halls” and sing “fa-la-la-la-la.”

Some people get the holiday blues every year, whether because of...

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The Three-Stage Process for Facing Your Fears Dec 17, 2020

I want to share a story with you on how NOT to be ruled by fear.  
 
"I know that I hold on to people too long, way past when I know I have to make a change," a CEO told me. "I have always done that, and it costs me." 
 
"What are you afraid of?" I asked. 
 
"I don't...

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There’s Nothing Wrong With Being Angry Dec 17, 2020

Many people conceal their negative feelings of anger, sadness, and fear. These people are unable to cope with good and bad because they have never processed these negative feelings, and they suffer from many problems, such as fear of relationships, depressions, and anxiety as a result. Negative...

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The Difference Between Toxic and Imperfect People Dec 16, 2020

Twenty five years ago, John Townsend and I wrote a book called Boundaries. Maybe you’ve heard of it.

In talking with some people who have read the book, we’ve realized that a few have selfishly misused the point, which is to make relationships better. Instead, these people have tried...

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Don't Let Someone's Guilt Influence Your Decisions Dec 15, 2020

When it comes to making decisions, one of the things we experience is guilt. When you choose to do something for yourself, or make any kind of decision-based on your conviction that it is the right thing to do, you may sometimes feel as if you have done something bad because of people’s...

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Tis’ the Season to Set Some Boundaries with Family Dec 14, 2020

When you were born, you were placed into a family for a season of time to help you grow into a mature adult. At some point this season ends, and your relationship with your parents changes from child-to-parent to adult-to-adult. The roles change from dependency and authority to mutuality. While...

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Is it the Blues, or is it Depression? Dec 11, 2020

A few years ago someone asked me the difference between being in a funk and experiencing depression. It’s important to know when you have the “blues” and when you are truly depressed and need help. Let’s look at the dynamics of each.

If you have the “blues”...

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Simple Tricks for Confronting Fear and Anxiety Dec 05, 2020

Fears, like bad dreams, are best disposed of in the light of day. Expose your fears to yourself and others you trust. Identify them and where they came from. They are much less powerful when you can look at them in the light. Say to yourself, “I have not taken a risk in an important area of...

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