How to Regain Positive Momentum after a Difficult Year Dec 29, 2020

About 10 years ago, I was addressing an organization in the aftermath of a financial meltdown. We discussed why so many people were feeling down, defeated, and unable to perform at the levels they were used to. (It is amazing how just knowing that there is a reason for why you feel the way you do...

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How to Help Someone Without Burning Yourself Out Dec 29, 2020

Amy called Tina late one night needing a friend.

“He’s gone,” Amy said between sobs. “Dad passed an hour ago.”

Tina was heartbroken for her friend. Though offering condolences and prayers seemed appropriate, Tina wanted to do more for Amy. She couldn’t take...

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Wise, Foolish or Evil: How to Know Who You're Dealing With Dec 29, 2020

If you believe that you’re a responsible and loving person, it’s easy to assume that other people think like you. You think that they care about other people and how their actions affect those people. Since you have a concern about how what you do affects others, then it makes sense...

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How to Set Boundaries Within a Dysfunctional Family Dec 28, 2020

Look at your own life situation and see where boundary problems exist with your parents and siblings. The basic question is this: Where have you lost control of your property? Identify those areas and see their connection with the family you grew up in, and you are on your way.

Identify...

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When to Have Hope and When to End a Bad Relationship Dec 27, 2020

One of the most crucial elements someone can bring to their life is hope. Among the most powerful forces in the universe, hope gives energy, sustenance, and direction to people to keep going, and to win against all odds. With hope, we can endure almost anything, and certainly more than if we lose...

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Unsafe People Will Apologize Without Changing Their Behavior Dec 27, 2020

"But he's really sorry this time," she said. "When I confronted him with what I knew, he cried and said he was so heartbroken about what he had done. I could tell he was really torn up about it."

My counselee was referring to her husband, whom she had discovered had been seeing another woman. She...

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I Want You to Frustrate People - Here's Why Dec 24, 2020

I have some questions for you. 

Is someone else going to decide how next year goes? Is someone else going to stop you from living to your fullest potential?

Or... are you in charge?

That’s what I want for you. I want you to leave a trail of frustrated people in your wake in 2021. I...

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What it Means to be Independent from Your Mom Dec 22, 2020

If you had a controlling mom, you’ve most likely experienced problems in separation, autonomy, and individualization — becoming your own person. We’ll go through the necessary steps to repair yourself, but first, let’s clarify the real problem.

A controlling mom may be the...

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Empathize with Others Hurting This Holiday Season Dec 21, 2020

The holidays can be a tough time for people that are feeling down. If you're not feeling holiday cheer, many people think you're a grinch.

But not everyone wants to “deck the halls” and sing “fa-la-la-la-la.”

Some people get the holiday blues every year, whether because of...

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The Three-Stage Process for Facing Your Fears Dec 17, 2020

I want to share a story with you on how NOT to be ruled by fear.  
 
"I know that I hold on to people too long, way past when I know I have to make a change," a CEO told me. "I have always done that, and it costs me." 
 
"What are you afraid of?" I asked. 
 
"I don't...

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There’s Nothing Wrong With Being Angry Dec 17, 2020

Many people conceal their negative feelings of anger, sadness, and fear. These people are unable to cope with good and bad because they have never processed these negative feelings, and they suffer from many problems, such as fear of relationships, depressions, and anxiety as a result. Negative...

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The Difference Between Toxic and Imperfect People Dec 16, 2020

Twenty five years ago, John Townsend and I wrote a book called Boundaries. Maybe you’ve heard of it.

In talking with some people who have read the book, we’ve realized that a few have selfishly misused the point, which is to make relationships better. Instead, these people have tried...

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