Marriage is Not a Shortcut to Maturity Apr 01, 2022

Marriage is intended by God as a union of two complete persons. It is only when two mature and whole individuals come together in marriage that their union will be complete. Marriage is not designed to be a shortcut to maturity, a way of completing yourself. Rather, God designed marriage as a way...

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What Does the Bible Say about Toxic People? Mar 17, 2022

The Bible often warns us to avoid toxic people, or at least their toxic behavior. God wants us to be very careful to stay clear of people who can destroy the life that he desires to create for us. Listen to the way that King David put it:

The deeds of faithless men I hate; they will not cling to...

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What Christians Get Wrong About Grace Mar 17, 2022

Many Christians misunderstand grace, even those who are helping people grow. Usually people think that grace means forgiveness or the absence of condemnation. And the God of grace is the one who forgives. But while forgiveness is an expression of the grace of God, grace is much bigger than just...

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Does Guilt Keep You From Feeling Forgiven? Mar 13, 2022

“No matter how many times I read that I'm forgiven, I just don't feel it," Stephen said. "I know the Bible tells me God accepts me. I know it in my head, but I can't feel it in my heart."

"What have you tried to do to change that?" I asked. 

"Well, I've tried memorizing verses and...

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I Promise God Forgives You - Here's Why Mar 12, 2022

Many times, the pain that we drag into new situations is the pain of failure from the past. If you are feeling guilty or ashamed of things that you have done, you can have difficulty going into new relationships or situations because you feel "bad" or "unworthy." To tackle life with gusto, we...

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4 Ways to Respond to Pain that are Better Than Revenge Mar 11, 2022

No one wants to suffer, and it’s natural to want to avoid pain and discomfort. Yet, if you’re seeking to grow, normalizing suffering will facilitate the growth process in your personal development.

Let’s start by understanding how suffering actually helps with growth. Although...

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Why Your Pain Isn't the Result of God Punishing You Mar 08, 2022

You may be familiar with the story of Job -- his suffering was not the result of some sin he had done; in fact, he suffered because he was doing such a good job in life. God pointed Job out as an example of righteousness (Job 1:8), and then God allowed him to suffer for his purposes (see...

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Addressing Gaslighting that Takes Place in Church Mar 06, 2022

A new group for divorced singles was opening up at Megan’s church, so she decided to join. On the first night there, she shared a story about the issues with her husband. 

“He was an addict, and I made excuses for his behavior all the time. I didn’t want to believe things were that bad, so I...

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Unsafe People Exist at Church, Too Mar 06, 2022

I got an emergency call, and the office relayed to me that I had a suicidal client. I called Theresa on the phone. She was distraught.

“Tell me what happened,” I said.

“It’s not going to work,” Theresa replied, sobbing.

“What isn’t going to work?”

...

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The Pain You Experienced from the Past isn't Sinful Mar 06, 2022

Denying our sinfulness is natural. Who wants to claim something that makes us uncomfortable? It's not easy to own.

But what about negative feelings that are not sinful -- the ones that result merely from living in a less-than-perfect world or from getting sinned against? What is one to do with...

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MYTH: Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds - Here's Why Mar 04, 2022

Somehow this idea that time heals all wounds has become a very popular one, and yet that kind of thinking can be a big source of pain for a lot of people (especially those with an infected tooth!). Time passing by itself doesn't do much for us at all. It's all of the things that we do that...

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How to Rebuild Your Life After Heartbreak Mar 01, 2022

I hate exercise, but I do it. I hate lifting weights and riding my exercise bike, but I do it. I do it because, if I do, I will be healthier, will live longer, and will feel better.

So, why bring up exercise when we're talking about suffering and grief? Well, first of all, it shows you that I am...

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