The Pain You Experienced from the Past isn't Sinful Mar 06, 2022

Denying our sinfulness is natural. Who wants to claim something that makes us uncomfortable? It's not easy to own.

But what about negative feelings that are not sinful -- the ones that result merely from living in a less-than-perfect world or from getting sinned against? What is one to do with...

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MYTH: Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds - Here's Why Mar 04, 2022

Somehow this idea that time heals all wounds has become a very popular one, and yet that kind of thinking can be a big source of pain for a lot of people (especially those with an infected tooth!). Time passing by itself doesn't do much for us at all. It's all of the things that we do that...

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How to Rebuild Your Life After Heartbreak Mar 01, 2022

I hate exercise, but I do it. I hate lifting weights and riding my exercise bike, but I do it. I do it because, if I do, I will be healthier, will live longer, and will feel better.

So, why bring up exercise when we're talking about suffering and grief? Well, first of all, it shows you that I am...

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The Devastating Results of Spiritual Abuse, Shaming Mar 01, 2022

Laurel’s father had insisted his 22-year-old daughter come see me. Laurel, a college student, was suffering from depression. She had no appetite and had trouble sleeping and studying. Her father accompanied her to the appointment.

“What’s the problem?” I asked Laurel,...

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Just Because You Forgive, it Doesn’t Mean You Have to Trust Again Feb 14, 2022


“I know I’m supposed to forgive,” a woman said to me at a seminar. “But, I just can’t open myself up to that kind of hurt anymore. I know I should forgive him and trust him, but if I let him back in, the same thing will happen, and I can’t go through that...

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Unsafe People Will Apologize Without Changing Their Behavior Feb 06, 2022

"But he's really sorry this time," she said. "When I confronted him with what I knew, he cried and said he was so heartbroken about what he had done. I could tell he was really torn up about it."

My counselee was referring to her husband, whom she had discovered had been seeing another woman. She...

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Being Vulnerable Does Not Mean You Don't Have Boundaries Feb 02, 2022

When two people in a relationship hurt each other, their relationship can be restored if they allow their hearts to be vulnerable.

Soft-hearts vs. hard hearts are the real issue, and a soft heart is vulnerable. But, the problem is that when people hurt each other, there is a danger that for...

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How to Find the Courage To Trust After Being Hurt Feb 02, 2022

In this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show, we had a caller who wanted to discuss some of the betrayal she's experienced in previous relationships, and how it was affecting her current relationship with her boyfriend.

According to the caller, she said that her boyfriend had not done anything to hurt...

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Why Inviting the Truth is the Best Thing You Can Do for Your Relationship Jan 31, 2022

One of the most valuable things you can do with your safe people, ranking up there with asking for help, needing, and melting resistance, is simply to invite the truth about yourself. We have so many blind spots and areas where we aren’t aware of our self-destructiveness. 

There are...

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Preparing Your Mental Health for the Holiday Season Nov 26, 2021

How did you prepare for the holiday festivities for this week? Maybe you went to the grocery store, placed an order, cleaned your house or made travel arrangements. And if you were really busy, you may have done ALL of those things! No matter what your situation, you likely had to prepare for...

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Addressing Mental Health Goes Beyond Prayer Jul 02, 2021

God is a person who does certain things that produce life, over and over again. And, he has created us in his image, able to do those same things. We are to be “like him,” living healthy lives. So, as we grow in his image, doing what he does, healing occurs as a result. I began to...

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What to do When You Have a Boundary-Resistant Spouse May 06, 2021

A boundary-resistant person refuses to acknowledge any wrongdoing and will not accept correction or feedback. The basic attitude of someone who resists boundaries is this: "I should be able to do whatever I want to do in life." Ultimate freedom is the highest value for such a person. But...

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