What Keeps Some People in Bad Relationships May 01, 2020

"Understanding fear and how you tend to back off may be the step of awareness that help you make better choices."

Alicia feared losing Daniel. She was so afraid of being alone that she could not say no to him. Blinding herself to the problem, she would take any chance of staying with him....

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Why Triangulation is So Toxic Apr 28, 2020

I have something I call the Deadly Triad, and it refers to a concept called triangulation. We've got 3 people: A, B and C.

Problems always seem to arise when we're dealing with A, B and C. Sometimes these three people are friends, or sometimes they're colleagues. They all have relationships with...

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When Can You Trust Someone Again? Apr 26, 2020

Just wanted to leave a quick note about trust. Specifically, If someone said they wanted to be more “trustworthy” in their life, what my advice for them would be...

-Get clear on what trust means to not only you but to those you serve. One of my favorite definitions of...

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What Happens When Someone Invalidates Your Feelings Apr 25, 2020

What is the number one thing that destroys connection and trust? Trust emerges when we can enter someone's reality, validate their experiences, and have ours validated by them as well.

Connection and trust happen when one heart meets another. What destroys connection and trust like nothing else?...

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Help Your Adult Children Without Enabling Them Apr 22, 2020

Being a parent doesn't stop just because our kids reach a certain age. Many of us find that our love for our children is wrapped up in our desire to protect our kids and make sure their basic needs are taken care of, and that can go on well past any given age for a lot of parents. Helping our...

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I’m Taking Your Calls and Answering Your Questions Apr 21, 2020

This past week has been crazy for me and my team! Just like with anything in life where you’re presented with an obstacle that requires you to fix and adapt, we have used our time in quarantine to launch new material and create engaging opportunities to stay connected to you! 

Last...

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The Key to Getting Through A Panic Attack Apr 20, 2020

If you've ever experienced a panic attack, you know that your thoughts can spiral out-of-control and manifest into symptoms to make you feel as if you're in a life-threatening situation. It can feel like a perpetual cycle that leaves you with feelings of impending doom. It's cripples your life,...

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When Fear Actually Hurts You Apr 19, 2020

Just as there are smart and dumb risks, there are also helpful and useless fears. Like any emotion, fear serves as a signal to us. It alerts us to potentially dangerous situations and prepares us to take proactive action. That is why there are physiological components to fear: increased heart...

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How to Handle Those Who Get Angry at Your Boundaries Apr 14, 2020

When you establish a new boundary with someone, the most common form of resistance is anger. People who get angry at others for setting boundaries have a character problem. Self-centered, they think the world exists for them and their comfort. They see others as extensions of themselves.

I'm...

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How to Practice Boundaries with Yourself Apr 08, 2020

If social distancing has you feeling inclined to over-indulge in a particular vice, a little mindfulness and setting a boundary can go a long way right now. Once you have identified your boundary problem and owned it, you can do something about it. Here are some ways to begin practicing...

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The Boundaries.Me Podcast: Dr. Dan Allender - The Clarity of Your Calling podcast Apr 07, 2020

In this episode of Dr. Cloud's Boundaries.Me podcast, Dr. Dan Allender tells the story of how clarity around what he's uniquely meant to do in this world helped him naturally form boundaries.

When we know our calling, it gives us clarity as to why we're doing what we're doing. Forming...

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People Who Try to Control You with Their Feelings Are Immature Apr 05, 2020

Jim came into therapy because of his inability to get things done at home. He said, “I am irresponsible, and my wife is very displeased with me. I can’t seem to follow through on anything.”

“What sorts of things don’t you follow through on?” I asked.

...

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