Your Helping Could Be Hurting Someone Sep 28, 2020

I have long been an advocate for the role of pain and suffering in growth. It's not a masochistic approach, for I truly hate "pain for pain's sake." And besides, not all pain produces growth. Some pain is just useless suffering and produces nothing helpful at all. I hate it when I see people...

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Having No Boundaries with Family can have Negative Effects on Marriage Sep 27, 2020

Our families of origin are a place of familiarity to us. It’s where we form our habits and patterns, and what we grew up knowing is how we make decisions about our future. However, when we’re not able to separate ourselves from our families of origins, we often run into boundary...

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Expose Your Past and Heal to Move Forward Sep 26, 2020

Have you ever had someone tell you, “The past is in the past. It shouldn’t have any power over you”?

That’s not entirely true. The things we would say are “in our past” are really part of our present.

People have hurt us, and we have hurt people. We have...

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Get Daily Coaching From Dr. Henry Cloud Sep 22, 2020

If you've been tuning in to The Dr. Cloud Show, you've heard me talk about building a herd immunity against dysfunction, and what I mean by that is I'm passionate about creating a community of people who are committed to learning and growing and experiencing the fruits of life by doing the hard...

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Why You End Up Giving More Than You're Comfortable With Sep 19, 2020

Megan was a sweet woman that I worked with in another setting many years ago. I walked into her office one day and asked how she was doing. Immediately her eyes welled up with tears, and she began crying. At first she tried to hide it, but then she spilled her guts. She was feeling overwhelmed...

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The Good Traits to Look For in Others Sep 19, 2020

New and unfamiliar situations tend to make us feel anxious. The tense part of a business deal just before the pens come out. The exposed vulnerability of doing something for the first time, or doing something that could easily go sideways unless all the pieces fall exactly the right way. Anxiety...

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Saying No is Enough — You Don’t Have to Justify It Sep 19, 2020

Psychologists spend an enormous amount of energy building psychological tests, assessments and the like, and then administering them to people to help them understand themselves. This practice is very helpful in many settings, from work, to education, to couples and individuals. Insight into...

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3 Types of People Who Are Sabotaging Your Life Sep 18, 2020

When you need to execute an ending of some sort, there will be people in your circle who will try to fight it or slow it down, because even if you aren’t paranoid, it doesn’t mean that someone isn’t out to get you or sabotage you. You have to be ready for that to occur,...

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9 Traits of a Healthy Friendship Sep 12, 2020

I received a message from an answering service one evening, and it told me that one of my clients was suicidal. I called Theresa on the phone. She was distraught.

“Tell me what happened,” I said.

“It’s not going to work, “ Theresa replied, sobbing.

“What...

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How to Evaluate the Quality of Your Friendships Sep 10, 2020

What friendships or other relationships take up a lot of time, but in reality are not the kinds of friendships you desire? I am not saying that all of your relationships should be deep and meaningful. You need some dysfunctional friends. They can be some of your favorite people, although they...

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Prevent Your Emotions From Clouding Your Judgment Sep 09, 2020

When something significant happens, our emotional state can change. And when we keep our eyes on the "little picture" - the right now - our emotions can change in a negative way.

Take the stock market crash. Because it affected people's real lives - their retirement balances, college funds,...

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Say No. Set Boundaries. Feel Better. Sep 06, 2020

Jenna used to believe that she would never learn how to say no and make it stick. But, as she sat at her kitchen table with a teacup in hand, she felt amazed. It was an unfamiliar sensation, but a pleasant one. Her mind wandered back to the events of the morning.

Her 13-year-old son, Bryan, had...

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