Passive-Aggressive Habit That’s Bad for Relationships Sep 29, 2020

You have seen it happen, or maybe even had it directed at you. The digging or critical comment about someone, only to be followed up with, “bless her heart.” Or, a chuckle, or “ha ha” or “LOL.” I was recently asked why people do that, and why they feel it is OK...

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Honoring vs. Obeying - How to Set the Boundary With Your Parents Sep 29, 2020

Ben was 30 years old when I met him. He came into my office burdened by the opinions of what his parents thought of his life choices. It sounds crass on the surface, but one of the first things I told him to do was to “grow up and get a life.” But the problem with this common phrase...

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The Reason Your Dating Life isn't Going Well Sep 28, 2020

Single life is a mixed bag for many of us. Some people like to be unattached and play the field, while others just want to curl up with someone and binge watch TV shows on Netflix.

If you're unhappily single, I've got something to tell you. A friend of mine and her husband seem like a perfect...

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Have Trouble Enforcing Your Boundaries? Here’s How You Do It. Sep 28, 2020

Wouldn’t it be nice if, when we confronted someone, it ended positively each time? Wouldn’t it be nice if every time you confronted a hurtful person, he or she realized what they did wrong, and you could go on? Of course it would.

That’s not always the case, is it. So, now what...

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Your Helping Could Be Hurting Someone Sep 28, 2020

I have long been an advocate for the role of pain and suffering in growth. It's not a masochistic approach, for I truly hate "pain for pain's sake." And besides, not all pain produces growth. Some pain is just useless suffering and produces nothing helpful at all. I hate it when I see people...

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Having No Boundaries with Family can have Negative Effects on Marriage Sep 27, 2020

Our families of origin are a place of familiarity to us. It’s where we form our habits and patterns, and what we grew up knowing is how we make decisions about our future. However, when we’re not able to separate ourselves from our families of origins, we often run into boundary...

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Expose Your Past and Heal to Move Forward Sep 26, 2020

Have you ever had someone tell you, “The past is in the past. It shouldn’t have any power over you”?

That’s not entirely true. The things we would say are “in our past” are really part of our present.

People have hurt us, and we have hurt people. We have...

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Get Daily Coaching From Dr. Henry Cloud Sep 22, 2020

If you've been tuning in to The Dr. Cloud Show, you've heard me talk about building a herd immunity against dysfunction, and what I mean by that is I'm passionate about creating a community of people who are committed to learning and growing and experiencing the fruits of life by doing the hard...

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Why You End Up Giving More Than You're Comfortable With Sep 19, 2020

Megan was a sweet woman that I worked with in another setting many years ago. I walked into her office one day and asked how she was doing. Immediately her eyes welled up with tears, and she began crying. At first she tried to hide it, but then she spilled her guts. She was feeling overwhelmed...

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The Good Traits to Look For in Others Sep 19, 2020

New and unfamiliar situations tend to make us feel anxious. The tense part of a business deal just before the pens come out. The exposed vulnerability of doing something for the first time, or doing something that could easily go sideways unless all the pieces fall exactly the right way. Anxiety...

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3 Types of People Who Are Sabotaging Your Life Sep 18, 2020

When you need to execute an ending of some sort, there will be people in your circle who will try to fight it or slow it down, because even if you aren’t paranoid, it doesn’t mean that someone isn’t out to get you or sabotage you. You have to be ready for that to occur,...

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9 Traits of a Healthy Friendship Sep 12, 2020

I received a message from an answering service one evening, and it told me that one of my clients was suicidal. I called Theresa on the phone. She was distraught.

“Tell me what happened,” I said.

“It’s not going to work, “ Theresa replied, sobbing.

“What...

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